From the eyes of a Bornean girl

Baby Jia Elisha & Motherhood

2010-03-09T10:19:00.003+08:00

I know it's been a while since I've last updated by blog (well actually, it's close to 2 years since I've last updated my blog). Sorry fellas. Too much dramas have happened in between, that I just didn't have the time to write because all is just been going too fast . Anyway, being in my confinement period has made me realized that I oughta do something besides nursing, sleeping, eating, drinking to thirst, etc. Yup, I've gotten engaged, married and delivered a baby in my "silent" period.

I've just given birth to a beautiful and chubby little Jia Elisha on Feb 25th, 2010 at 9.22 pm (which coincidently fall on the same date as my brother Larnelle). Ok la, dapat jimat belanja next time I throw out a birthday party for them. Hehe. Anyway, Baby Jia was born with a weight of 3.1 kg (think it's because of the cheese I've been eating before this), big pretty black eyes, a bit of hairs on her head but lots around her body (I'm just crossing my finger her body hairs will fall off eventually), lots of fats around her arms and legs, considerably long legs and thick, sexy lips.

Syok also la got baby. You just can't wait how she'd look like she's grows bigger. I guess what surprised me most is how maternal instinct just came out of without you realizing it, and how it can blossomed. Think that's the awesome part of being in the motherhood.

Young or Matured Students?

2008-09-20T11:40:00.003+08:00

I'm currently surfing the net in a bakery shop at Lido township, filling the time gap between my first class (8 to 10 am: Strength of Materials) and my second (12.45 - 2.45 pm: Fluid Mechanics for Civil Engineering) in the OUM Sabah headquarters. I'm teaching nine Diploma in Civil Engineering students and one Bachelor of Education (Civil Engineering), all of them working and studying at the same time. All students but one are older than me.

I'm also teaching a few Civil Engineering subjects in a local university in Sabah, fulltime, and almost all of my students are very young. Most of them came in after completing their STPM or matriculation and all with very short period, or probably no working experience in the industries. With the opportunity to teach engineering subjects to both group of students from different age and background, I'm able to observe several difference between matured and young students.

In general, I notice that matured students tend to be very serious when it comes to studying. They may be slow in grasping some information (due to the age factor), but they are very determined in trying to understand whatever it is taught. My opinion is that they value the importance of education. They invested their hard-earned money into education, because they know they are able to go far if they are able to improve in their academic achievements. They are able to see what they want in their future and education is the one of the main channels to achieve this.

Some students I teach in the university don't really know what they want in the future. If they can't be an engineer, they can be a teacher or whatever. Thus, the level of seriousness in learning is not as high as the matured students.

Matured students also tend to be vocal in class and with that, I find it easy to get their feedbacks. They are able to think critically, questioning any issues which they disagree on. With these kind of attitude, it is convenient for me as an educator to gauge my performance in teaching. I can improve my teaching method to achieve the purpose in getting them to appreciate the subject. If they don't understand something, say, a concept, they would just raise their hands and ask - without me asking them to. It is not so with young students. Most of the time, they will fall silent, that I have ask if they have any doubts etc just to get feedbacks. They also tend to be lost if I start to ask them questions which requires them to argue or think critically.

I can list more, but due to time constraint (it's almost 12.45 already), I'll just stop at two differences. Bear in mind that these are only my observation and I would understand if anyone disagree with me. Feel free to comment/argue with me in this issue. I would really like to learn from the experiences of others.

Sabah: what is the future?

2008-09-19T16:20:00.009+08:00

My apologies for the late update of my blog. I have been so busy getting adjusted with some changes in my life, that I couldn't spare some time to sit down, sort out the ideas in my head and start jotting down. Somehow, I need to start getting committed to express life seen from my eyes in words. Then again, that was what I was saying years ago. Anyway..

I'm currently reading a book penned down by Datuk Dr. Jeffrey Kitingan entitled "Justice for Sabah". Considering that the Malaysians are bombarded with the news of the current, tumultuous political atmosphere on the telly everyday, I find this book worth reading. It gives a detailed narration of injustice and violations of rights upon Sabahans, supported by numerous information on historical written evidence (statistics, laws, agreements etc.), added with the experience by DDJK when he was in a 4-year detainment under the Internal Security Act (ISA) since 1991.

After reading the first few pages of the book, I can't help but feeling shocked as how much Sabah has suffered since joining the Federation of Malaysia. There is so much violation made by the Federal government on the Twenty Points, which was composed in order to protect Sabahans from falling into another type of colonialism after Britain. It is also an irony where Sabah, which is supposed to be very rich in natural resources - oil, timber etc. - is listed as the poorest state in Sabah. What's wrong? Why do we end up like this?

After reading the book, I came to a realization as how unaware I was with what is happening in my own soil. Yes, I saw numerous poor Sabahans when I travel into the interiors of Sabah (these people are living in hardcore poverty). True, I see so many illegal immigrants coming into Sabah and becoming naturalized in such a short period of time. I am aware that the Federal government has screwed up the political system of Sabah. But neither would I imagine the depth of this political exacerbation nor know how long since this started. No wonder this problem is hard to solve. It has deeply rooted as time goes by.

Frankly speaking, I fear for the future of Sabahans. Every morning when I wake up from bed, I wonder what today is going to be. The government is so shaky that anything can happen in a split second. A very fine example is the recent fuel price hike - it was announced just a few hours before it was imposed. Such a ridiculous decision!

I'm not trying to be very political here, because I know it is not my calling. Well, at least for now. I'm observing how Sabah has been progressing (or regressing) these past years. Sabah has been a laughing stock because of its history of political upheaval (where politicians became party defectors). However, if it is God's will that this political turbulence should come to pass, we Christians just have to be prepared. Who knows? This may be one of the signs that the End of Days is around the corner.

"Lord, bless Sabah & bring us out from this political unrest.. but let only Your will be done.."

Blessings or curse?

2008-08-06T08:00:00.003+08:00

This title is taken from today's Our Daily Bread devotion material, which I have been using for quite some time already. Stating that today is the 63rd anniversary of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima, Japan, Dean Ohlman (the author of today's ODB article) further elaborated on the significance of the casualties, where as many as 30 million human beings perished in a single instant in tragedy. Who contributed to the creation and development of this awful weapon of destruction? They are the scientists, engineers, and technicians - brilliant minds with the intention to pursue the highest level of scientific achievements, in a wrong way.

The bible named the pioneers of specific aspects of human development - Jubal, in animal husbandry, Jabal, in musical instruments and Tubal-Cain, in metallurgy (Gen. 4). However, these names are written as an opening account of the impact of original sin on humankind, which eventually led to God's destruction of the world's first civilization. Human development is already mentioned in tandem with human good and evil right from the beginning.

I, as a member of the world scientific community, cannot help to comprehend the depth of the scientific contribution made to human development. For instance, mobile cellphones are initially created for the purpose of telecommunication convenience, but in reality, you see people abusing these convenience in meeting rooms or churches via sms, mms etc.

I have always wanted to contribute as well as to develop myself as a sound and skillful engineer, but often met situations which contradicts with my moral and spiritual stances. I have handled projects which are politically and financially sensitive, met clients who wants to ignore the safety issues of the projects for more financial profit etc. It's not easy being a member of the scientific community. Sure, it is definitely a highly viewed profession, I would agree on that, but with that comes with bigger responsibilities and commitments. I remembered reading about the regrets of Albert Einstein in his involvement with the atomic bomb invention. Who wouldn't? 30 million people died because of this! We can't just simply be like Pontius Pilates, washed his hand as a sign of his uninvolvement to the crucifixion of Christ. Whether we want to admit or not, we have to realize that no matter how willing we are to be in the state of denial, we are already involved in this from the very beginning.

That's why, as Christians, it is extremely important to stay grounded on our faith. Human development itself it's not evil. Ideally, people will use their God-given creativity to develop God-created resources for the good of mankind. If it has been God's calling to be a part of the scientific community, make fully use of the opportunity, not for selfish gain, for gaining advantage over the poor and helpless, for careless distruction or for the slaughter of others who bear the image of God, but first and foremost, to uphold and glorify to the utmost, the name of the Lord. I have always believed that church ministries are not only confined in a church building. With that, I too believe, by faith, that it has originally been in God's plan for me to become an engineer, with the purpose to become a channel of God's blessings to impact my life and also the life of others.

Mid Year 2008 - Significant Change & Adaptation

2008-08-02T23:15:00.012+08:00

I've finally put an effort to get up from bed, walked to my laptop, connected to the internet and update my blog after, umm, 5 month? Yes, another example of my attitude of encouraging fine art of procrastination. Thank you to those of you who've started the conversation about blogs these past few weeks (setting up new one, updating etc.). Without you raising up the issue, I would have stayed back on my bed doing nothing, like usual.

So, what do I feel like writing? Oh yes.. significant changes happened since my last entry and this one I'm writing. Gee, pretty much SIGNIFICANT events have happened, that I have to pinch my cheek just to realize it's not a dream. But don't worry, I just going to concentrate on a few, coz if I tell everything, sure after 1 week cannot finish one..

I got into UMS on 5th May, 2008. I was supposed to start duty on 2nd but then.. nah. I deserve a break after been working for so long. Another extra holi-days won't hurt. It's the first day that I finally get to wear something formal to work, without having to attend any conferences, seminars, meetings etc. Oh, I forgot to mention my first day with punch cards.. and thumb printing devices. As I was looking at the punch card and thumb print devices (which are supposed to be for your working hour record), I seek to comprehend as why the time in one device is 3 minute faster than the other one. Weird..

I started teaching undergraduate students in two courses assigned to me early last month. Have to be honest, I am struggling with it. First, the protocol. I have no idea what the syllabuses are supposed to be like, and how teaching should be like. Not that I have no experience in teaching, but the one before had proper teaching materials and syllabuses. All I have to do is abide with it. But not in UMS. It's completely haywired. I mean, seriously, they are talking about accreditation for the program courses and stuff.. but at least if only somebody tell me in detail about this BEFORE the classes start, I shouldn't have been lost now. Two months after I started my duty, I was practically doing nothing (due to long semester break). Argghhhhh...!!! Second, I have two classes with two completely different attitudes. One has interest in learning, another is just umm.. "blank" (guess they haven't gone thru industrial training yet). Or maybe I just have to adjust my teaching skills when it comes to heavy calculation courses. It's very discouraging as this course with heavy Maths is the course that I loved the most.

I know, I've been complaining so far complaining about my work in UMS. So, do I have regrets?

The answer is .. NO.

Early last year, when I submitted my job application to UMS as a tutor, I have a thought flashing in my mind. "What happened if I get lecturership instead?" After weeks of thinking, I decided that I'm going for UMS despite whatever I get, though secretly I was extremely hoping that I get tutorship and get to do my PhD pronto. Which eventually, as you all know, I didn't get it. And feel completely, I repeat, completely crushed. Despite that, I take full accountability of my decision and action, thus feeling regret should be a no-no. This is the matured part of me speaking.

But just as a principal of a private college told me this afternoon, "Good things are bound to happen".. I truly, truly hope he's right.

I finally met someone who finally ended my "single and indepedent" status for close to a decade, which used to be my pride and joy, at the least expected place and the most unexpected date. Yup, I have to cross-out one of my resolutions for this year.

Bye-bye "staying single".. I'm going to miss you very much.

Since I previously held my "single" status far too long, forgive me for not able to elaborate more on that. I'm still not comfortable exposing that part of my life just yet. Will only tell you more only when I feel ready to publicly speak out. But if you bumped into us by accident, what to do lah.. pretend you don't know loh..

More stories to come about the changes in my life. Definitely will keep you posted, but be patient. I'm very kura-kura one when it comes to updating my blog.

Photoshots from my Korean backpacking trip

2008-03-04T23:25:00.010+08:00

I'm pleased to show you the photos I've taken during my backpacking trip in Korea for your entertainment. Photos are taken using my new bought (back then lah) Sony Cybershot DSC-T100. Hope you can see Korea the way I do through these photos.

Surprising Ways God Answers Prayer - Karen Barber

2008-03-02T23:33:00.005+08:00

Finally! I managed to finish reading the book I bought last Tuesday, the same book I stated in me previous post. Like I mentioned before, all the way through the book, I can't stop shedding tears in every stories on how God suprising answer prayer, in means we never expected. It took me a while to finish the book, because I stopped and reflecting on my life after reading several testimonies. And without realizing it, I'm practicing what is suggested in this book.

Now, this book is not a prayer manual on how to pray, but on the means and ways God answers prayer based on the collections of real-life wonders from real-life Christian friends of the authoress. This 254-page book is valued at RM 21.90 (in Capstone, Kota Kinabalu). The content of this book is divided into several chapters, all based on the categories of prayer surprises:

Surprised by Prayer
Surprised by Unlikely Means
Surprised by Presence
Surprised by a Word
Surprised by a Call to Pray
Surprised by a Partnership
Surprised by Scripture
Surprised by Power

Interesting book I say, because this book is amazingly written with some personal reflection by the authoress and alternated with testimonies. Very humble choice of words, which gives the reader a picture of how magnificent our Creator and Saviour is.

This book is definitely recommended by me to intercessors and also fellow Christians who wants to know how God answers prayer in a personal level. Two thumbs up!

Two job openings in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

2008-03-02T22:54:00.009+08:00

Doing a favour to a brethren, I'm listing down ~~two~~ one job opportunities in Kota Kinabalu for you who are and know someone looking for a job. Must be Malaysians; Sabahans are preferred. The openings are:

Medical representative for a pharmaceutical company based in Malaysia:

Must have at least a bachelor degree in Science (any field in Science would do)
This job requires lots of travelling as this person will be in-charge of the Sabah market
Training will be provided upon employment.

An assistant personnel in a Sabahan pest-controller company - CLOSED:

Will required excellent physical strength as there will be a lot of manual labour
Good in public relation - this business will give the opportunity to meet with lots of customers (house and property owner etc.)
Education level: Form 3 and above.

If you are interested, or know anyone who is looking for a job, or wanting to know the details, please let me know at the soonest. You can leave your message in the shoutbox or leave your comments in this blog. Thanks for your time reading.

Satisfaction - Michael Battersby

2008-03-01T09:07:00.014+08:00

My close friends have known me for strong interest in music. Been involved in the praise and worship team in my church for more than a decade, and also a pianist and keyboardist, I realized that my taste towards genre of Christian music have expanded from Pop and R&B to more "not-so-popular" ones like jazz and ethnic fusion. So where did I acquire this? I got this from listening to internet radios (my personal favourites are www.klvv.com & www.lightgeneration.com), from music buddies and partners I get to meet and share along my time being a musician, and from overseas trips and social excursions. So enough of that for now, as my intention is to introduce to you the album I have been listening to these couple of days.

Last Monday, I was in a Christian bookstore called Capstone, near Taman Iramanis, Kota Kinabalu. I wanted to buy a book entitled "Suprising Ways God Answers Prayer", which is mentioned in my previous post, but my cash was not enough; I decided to buy it using a credit card. However, the kind lady at the counter told me that I can only use the credit card with an RM50++ item purchase. Told her I wanted to find a jazzy Christian album to add to the purchase, so she introduced me to Michael Battersby "Satisfaction" album worth RM 32.90. For those who like Michael Buble (like me), this album is a must buy.

Now, you won't know much about Michael Battersby from Google.com, but this is what is written on his CD:

He started singing in public at the age of 6; has already been inclined to swing and jazz music when he was very young
Studied in WA Conservatiorium in Jazz in Australia (yes, he is Australian)
Sang with Dizzy Gillispie, Natalie Cole and Ricky May
He's married to his wife, Linda
He's an associate pastor in Metro Church, Australia (check it out in www.metrochurch.org.au)
He plays the piano

I have to admit, I initially thought that Michael was an American jazz singer, because he sounds so much like them! Probably as well that most jazz singers who made it out in the entertainment world are mostly American. Anyway, I've loved this album due to its easy listening music, very jazzy and bluesy tempo, as if I was sitting in Starbucks or outdoor cafes, drinking a cup of hot tea and reading a book. Sigh! *dreamy eyes*

Something like this (black and white image preferred)

Anyway, back to reality. In another note, he has quite a number of blue chords and licks in most of his songs. One song called "Satisfaction" (also his album's title) is unique, where the dominant instrument is the piano, which he played. Man, he played piano gooooooood...

Overall, I like the whole songs but I do reserve some personal likings. There are two songs: Satisfaction and When I survey the Wondrous Cross. The latter one uses much more slow beat, but that is what it's meant to be; contemplative and inspirational. It really gets the message of the song through.

Take time to listen to the songs, broadcasted via Podbean.com in my blog. I hope you'll enjoy the album like I do.

Unexpected answers to prayer

2008-02-25T23:49:00.021+08:00

I'm currently reading a book called "Surprising Ways God Answers Prayer" written by Karen Barber, which I bought from Capstone bookstore for RM 21.90 just a few hours ago. It is an unusual, yet inspirational books on prayer; unusual in the sense that this book does not focuses on the components of prayer (worship, meditation, fasting etc.) or on how to pray, but as the writer says, it's about,

"how to go about perceiving and receiving, about how to live our lives with wide-eyed wonder."

This book enlisted and elaborated the real-life examples of how God answered prayers in the least expected ways. I have to admit, I kept on shedding tears as I read through these stories and relate these to my own personal experiences. I'm now at Chapter 3 of the book - Surprised by Presence, and stopped at this story about an 82-year old disabled lady whom at one incident, almost got raped by an intruder, in her own tin-roofed, dilapidated (I imagine so) house, located around church carparks. Being physically impaired, she is physically no match for this intruder twice her weight, and he could have had her. But God has been there all along, watching and safeguarding her, and she was spared from this danger. Not only that, that fellow carried her to her wheelchair just to get her locked her door after he's out of the house! What do you make of that? This incident shows that God answers her daily prayer, which goes like this..

"Lord, go before me like a leading lamb, and behind me like a protecting angel."

While I pondered upon this story, I was suddenly reminded about what I've experienced in Seoul, backpacking on my own. To be completely honest, I'm still feeling just the way when I first bought the airticket to Seoul. I can't believe what I did and have done. Most of the time when people found out that I backpacked alone to Korea, I get the same response - crazy, daring, disbelief etc (all fall in the same category of lunacy). Who would have thought a young female, travelled alone in a country where she can't even read, speak and understand the language?

But let me tell you something - this has already been in God's planning for so long! How, you may say? Previously, I was so engrossed into the routine of life, that I began to doubt if God is even cared or bothered on how I've been. I'm involved in church activities and ministries, but there's this emptiness which cannot be filled by all the physical efforts, which to my carnal mind, would please God. So I prayed one night while I was looking through flight promotions to South Korea - "Lord, if you want me to do this, please get me a return ticket KK-Seoul with a price less than RM2k".

Guess what happened? The next day, I had a look on the MAS website, KK-Seoul = RM1.8k! The day before, it was RM6k at the cheapest! I didn't think twice, I bought the ticket on that day.

It took me months to tell my mom that I'll be going to Korea alone. But I prayed for the right timing for me to break the news to my mom. The time did come: it was during a small prayer meeting. My prayer request was that God foresees my needs and preparation for the trip. She does look surprised, but didn't freak out like I thought she would usually do.

The days before leaving hit me the hardest; I had problems in the Church Youth Conference, I was overloaded with deadlines at work, and my physical and mental health deteriorated. On the day of my departure, I barely touched my dinner. I was hungry, but was in no mood to eat. But after weeks of lost of appetite, God restored my strength and my appetite in Seoul. But the greatest miracles I've experienced was that I began to completely dependent of God when I make decision, crucial ones in fact. He used my heart to communicate, and I started to be spiritually aware of His direction in all decisions I make. Once, I was suddenly stopped just as I was about to enter the subway train and heard, "look at the sign". And when I did, I quickly realized I wasn't going to where I'm supposed to be heading.

Another incident was when I lost my way to Yonggi Cho's church to catch a bus to the Prayer Mountain, I was dropped at the some unknown territory, but I knew I was too far away from the church. I was walking through this alley, and prayed, "Lord, send me a taxi". Just as I said so, a taxi just passed me and I quickly waved and got in. The problem was far from solved - I was giving directions, but he was getting it differently (due to the language barrier and my horrible knowledge of Seoul area). But I prayed incessantly, and by the time I reached the bus stop and entered the bus, the bus door closed behind me and start moving. It's as if the bus is waiting for me to arrive! Oh, and that day, the bus was hold up a little bit longer than expected, just in time for me to make it to the bus!

Let me conclude this post with another eye-opening experience in Seoul. There was this one night (I remembered it was around midnight), where I was on my way to my hostel. Going from the main road to my hostel, I had to pass a dim-litted and secluded alley. That night, I noticed one Asian man (most probably a Korean) standing just at the corner of the road. He looked at me in a strange and dodgy way, and a few minutes after, this would-be stalker was walking behind me. I gripped my umbrella just in case something bad happens, but at the same time, I was praying to God for safety. Just after I uttered the prayer, guess what happened? Out of nowhere, a police patrol car drove slowly along the road I was walking, and that fellow just stopped where he was. Seeing that, I quickly walked as fast as I can towards the hostel, thanking God as I made my journey.

My experience in Korea has been the most uplifting one in 2007, because I was 100%, fully depended on God's timely and right answers in all decision and circumstances. Back from Korea, God is showing me through these experiences, that not only He is in control in that short 8-day trip, He's also in control of my present life and my future, despite how vague and monotonous daily life can be. All I have to do is just to trust Him.

Self re-evaluation - 2007 & 2008

2008-02-24T23:42:00.011+08:00

I realized that I should have done this at the start of this year, but seems that the first few weeks of the year, I don't have time (and not forgetting the mood!) to list down what I've been doing and what I plan to do for this year. So, okay, I'll cut the chase and here goes:

What have I been doing for the past 12 months (2007)?

I've done quite a lot, as a matter of fact; I've done way beyond what I can bear physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. Despite being completely drained out, I've learned so much along the way, and I began to ambitiously see where I am heading now, though my first starts were somewhat blurry.

Career-wise: Well, I got a pay raise, which is not really a suprise as we do get pay rise annually. I also have been involved in a coastal project in Salut area, and one dambreak project (Murum-Bakun dam) - FYI, before this, I've been already thinking (probably praying as well) that before I leave my company, I get to be involved in a coastal project and a dambreak project. God surely answer prayers at the time I never expected. All is good, but because of my odd-hour work time and my involvement in church ministries, I felt that my current job can't substantiate what I can fully do in my church. Besides that, my future of doing PhD is uncertain if I continue working in my current company. So, I decided to apply for a new job which offers more time to do what I like most and with a less rigid work schedule, and a brighter chance to do PhD.

Love life: I successfully manage to maintain my singleness ;). Haha, yes!

Financial: I blew up my savings on my trip to Korea, which is worth it. It's quite sad to see all that RMs fly in one go, but thinking back, the experience I get there is just priceless. In fact, the part I've travelled there alone (some office colleagues have a sinister thought of me meeting up with a guy there - yeah, right) proved that I can survive on my own in a complete different world. I've also spend a bit of money on my trip to Jakarta and Singapore, but that's a few time lesser compared to what my Korean expenses were. But all money not lost; I also manage to get some as well. I got my first experience as a pianist playing in an Italian restaurant for RM 300 (3 sessions) and also I get to teach Fluid Mechanics in OUM.

Spiritually: I think I had a hard time on this one. Last year, I was heavily involved in BPM - involved in the album production, concert & conference preparation etc. It's not bad actually, but I was so into these that it took negative toll on the ministries I involved in the church as well as my prayer life. Never have I felt that I was so divided emotionally e.g. my heart says I should do this, but instead I'm doing something else. The Korean trip made me realized that I should trust what my heart says and wants, coupled with of course - strong, unwavering dependence and attachment to God. Since then, I became bolder and took the risks in everything I choose and plan to do in my future.

So, what has and will happen in 2008?

I got the job in UMS as a lecturer (Finally, with that whole last year waiting!). I applied for tutorship, but given lecturership instead.
Going to Manila via Clark for a 5 days/4 nights vacation starting on my resignation date (Apr 19th)
Hoping to visit Pak Yunus in Brunei, after years of visitation delays.
I hope to get my position confirmed by UMS by next year and do my PhD in 2010 (I know, that was supposed to be the next years resolution, but I don't see any harm of stating them now)
Maintain my singleness? (Hehe..)
A change in my personality outlook - wardrobe, body language, make up. One step at a time.
Involve in more diverse church ministries
Quit BPM (Among the toughest decision to make, but I got to do what I got to do)

If you have any ideas pertaining what I could do this year, please let me know. If I think it's achievable, I could chuck in your ideas in my list.

Reading my old blogs..

2007-11-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

It's raining.. again. *Sigh*. I barely recall a day in this year where there is no rain at all. A few years back, I can see a clear distinction between raining and dry seasons. It's complete different now, as if like the global climatic system gone haywire. I guess there must be some truth in climate change propaganda. The wet regions go wetter and the dry regions otherwise, and the changing rate also accelerates every year.

Anyway, while enjoying this rather cool weather, I decided of digging my old blogs and checked out what I have been writing so far. I have several old blogs - which I excitedly update until I ran out of things to write, and started a newer blog, while abandoning the previous one. Wondered if you noticed, but it took me almost a year to have this blog you're reading to be updated. So much for the dedication.

But the fact that I'm able to see my entries posted two, three years back does rekindle old memories. I had one entry that has me spending half an hour writing on my life's depression while another had me babbling about I-have-no-idea-what-to-write. Some entries had me writing about my dilemma of sitting for TOEFL and GRE. I think I have a few entries that elaborates (and also plot out a dramatic scene) of my flu-cough-fever sessions. I never thought I have an strange yet interesting perceptions of my life.

I'm supposed to search some materials for my mock teaching interview this Friday and my sharing session on ministry management, which coincidently falls on the same day, but at a slightly later time. Frankly speaking, I have no idea what to share about ministry management because the ministry management I know of is not taught by the book, but merely trial and errors that I encountered along the way, which eventually becomes the rule of thumb in my ministry. I'm no expert in ministry management for sure, however, the argument was that since I'm an engineer, I should know great deal of issues in management and be good at it. Hmm, that's one downside of being an engineer. People assumed you are well versed in all technical things, which in reality, you barely know the information just right at the surface. But I guess at this time it's pretty late to do all the searching, so I might as well just have it done tommorrow instead before I leave for Kuching on Wednesday.

If you're really curious of what I've been writing in my previous blogs, let me know, however, I politely ask that you may read them with discretion. Some of the entries can be rather suprising, due to my mood swings at the time of writing.

Reflection from Jakarta mission trip..

2007-11-17T14:11:00.002+08:00

I started my day this morning reminiscing the moments I had in Jakarta. Not that I don't reflect on my other overseas trip before, but I must say that the one in Jakarta is a unique one. I was spiritually inspired by the faith, dedication and togetherness of the Indonesian praise and worship team, by what I can vouch will change my perspective of my current ministries back in KK.

Before I proceed, let me enlighten you how my itinerary went. I went to Jakarta on 6th from KK via JB. I stayed there around 4 days, then departed Jakarta for JB on the 10th. On the 11th, I went to Singapore to attend a Bethany church and finally went home from JB later that day. The main purpose of my visit to Jakarta is to attend True Worshippers concert (a team based in Jakarta Praise Community Church), but in reality what actually I learned is far more than just be in the concert scene itself.

The first pang that hit my spiritual consciousness came when me and my three companions (from KK) were talking with Pastor Jose Carol in his office. I had this nagging voice within that urge me to ask Pastor Jose about how is his church prayer ministry is organized, and it came to a point that I had to speak out. I was inspired when he talked about his experience of spiritual warfare when he was still in Germany. The knowledge of how to handle such kind of intercession (especially when someone who is prayed for refused to let go of whatever possessed him) is something new to me. Spiritual deliverance comes from within, and breakthrough can only come if he willingly wants to accept Jesus as His Savior and Deliverer. If he doesn't, you will only end up draining out your energy.

The rehearsal of the concert in Senayan Indoor Tennis Stadium gave me a glimpse of how a complex and intricate management system can be extremely crucial in making sure the live concert and recordings run smoothly. I'm extremely grateful for the chance to witness this, as I can finally appreciate how the whole church can be involved in the making. It saddens me to look at the churches of the same denomination in my city can become so segregated, which gradually lead to biased opinions among each other in the body of Christ. I pray that this soon will change.

I will end this entry of what I've experienced the next day. Despite sleeping late the night before, I woke up at 6 am (or was it 5,I can't remember), and the first thing came to my head was to pray. I started my morning devotion by singing along with the song I listen to in my walkman and reflected on God's involvement in my life. This whole year I felt like I am at life intersections. I tried to move forward but there's always challenges and restrictions, and there's so many doors to choose from. Many times that I felt like giving up, but then that morning He softly reminds me, "Don't give up on Me, because I never gave up on you". I completely let go of my anguish and my pain that day and admitted that I'm spiritually hungry. Suddenly a Scripture flashed on me - Romans 5:8. " But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I have never been so grateful that God has been so faithfully comforting me in times where I, His wretched child, need Him the most.

Flu blue..

2006-11-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

Ok, I admit it. It's been a long, long while since I haven't updated my blog. My friend (link to his blog http://www.aetospen.blogspot.com) has been persuasive (in a loving way) to update my blog (and give comments on his blog). For now, all I can manage is to update mine. I'll definitely will comment on his blog for sure, just need to find the right time to do it.

It's been days since I've been sick. I was diagnosed with the infamous FCF disease (an abbreviation of flu, cough and fever). I'm still wondering where I got it in the first place. Last Wednesday, I went to the clinic my parents have always recommended, somewhere in Luyang. I don't really like seeing the docs, but since I'm in need of medical leaves and spending more time at home, I had to gather my courage to step in there. I was really hoping that I don't get to see this one doctor I've seen before, but since his room is just next to the entrance, I can't help but see the signage at his door says 'In'. "Oh man", I murmured silently.

Now, you probably wondered why I dread to see this particular doctor. Well, it wasn't his fault at the most, it's just that he reminded me of how badly I took care of my health. I didn't do that on purpose, you know? The health I mean. Last time I went to see him, he was scolding me of not seeking medical help after weeks of illness. You guess right, it was definitely my fault.

Anyway, back to the story. I went in (unwillingly) and found this doctor, scribbling on some notes then stopped and looked up as I sat next to him. He asked me the typical doctor-patient questions. Then he asked, "Bila lagi sakit?". Oh man, I thought, this was the questions that got me scolded last time. So I answered, "Kemarin". Almost closing my eyes out of fear of being scolded, he continued asking more questions. So I thought, 'phew.. that was close'. So, bladibladibla.. I did my checkup, went out, got my meds (and my 2-day sick leave - YAY!), paid RM35 and left.

Unfortunately, however, my meds ran out and up till now, I'm still having running nose (please don't think this in a literal form). I had to skip church today since I'm not really in good shape of meeting people except those in my house. I just can't wait for my 3-week long holidays on December and that's 2 weeks from now. And still counting.. Guess I have to get a lot rests when I can. For now I just have to tolerate the inability to enjoy having shower and dining. *Sigh*

Company's team building trip

2006-05-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, my company organized a team building trip in Mesilau Nature Resort, just 3 hours (or probably less) from Kota Kinabalu. We departed around 10 am that Friday and arrived there approximately 2 pm, with a short detour in Tamparuli. When we arrived there, it was raining and cold, nevertheless, since it was noted that we were hours behind schedule, after putting our luggages in respective rooms, we headed downward to the seminar building.

It was fun, I say. We had a blast! The first night, I slept early, though some people stayed late till around 3 a.m. The second day, we had more seminars and in the evening, we had an outdoor adventure consisting of walking (some did run) up and down the steep road everywhere to look for the alphabets in bottles hid by our director. At night, we had a BBQ buffet for dinner with some wines and beers. Around half past nine, majority gather together for the karaoke session (well, it was supposed to be a 3-minute 'Malaysian Idol' session, but I don't know what had happened in between). I went home before 3 a.m. when the bar actually closed. Some did stay on for the jungle trekking.

I woke up around half past 10 in the morning on the third/last day. After shower and packing, I headed to the restaurant for breakfast and departure to Kinabalu Park where we will be reunited with the jungle trekking group who departed earlier. An hour after I had my breakfast, lunch was served. At that point, I got pretty tired of eating. Nevertheless, it was still fun because each had the chance to talk with everyone. Finally, we depart on Sunday around 3 pm, when the 'jungle trekkers' arrived.

I have included some of the snapshots of the trip for your musings. Enjoy!

On the way to Mesilau

Happy faces to Mesilau

I was hanging around with a colleague

Minutes before the first seminar

Seconds before the first seminar

Me presenting my group's discussion

I wasn't aware my picture was taken

Playing 'congkak' during seminar break

We managed to smile even after a torturous outdoor adventure

Flipping through the karaoke songlist

Laughter is the best medicine to boredom, especially when it's really loud

Ah, yes.. I did sing, eventually..

RBC Conference - The book of Daniel

2006-05-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

I just got back from the annual RBC conference (which was the second time such similar conference held in Sabah) held in BCCM Likas. It wasn't really like a typical revival conference where thousands flocked into the church building to get prayed over and being healed. It's just the kind of conference where pastors and church leaders will attend (apparently I estimated around 80% of the attendees are from the mentioned group). More like a bible study group, only slightly larger.

The conference was about "Living for God in Your Culture - A Study in the Life of Daniel", spoken by Bill Crowder, one of the top guys in RBC in US. In a nutshell, the session tonight covered three earliest chapters of Daniel - Chapters 1, 2, and 4. Since he wanted to emphasize on the life of Daniel, he purposedly skipped chapter 3 because well, it was narrated in presumably all Sunday schools around the world, thousands of times. Oh I guess you should know what Chapter 3 was - the Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego fellas and the furnace. Remember?

It was rather unfortunate I didn't manage to jot down all the important notes on a notebook. Eventhough it was conducted in a more lets-read-all-the-verses (literally!) mode of preaching, it definitely got my attention to encourage me to reflect on my present life. I would truly love to share the whole thing that I've learnt (and remembered!) from Mr. Crowder, but I have the tendency to overwrite the entry, so I guess I have to reserve it for some other time.

The key points which made me reflects on my life right now, based on the life of Daniel are as listed below:

Daniel lived in a culture which is not orginally his.
Daniel spoke the truth, even if it means he has to risk his head.
Daniel stayed faithful to his God, even if the social pressure was overwhelming.
Daniel has an extraordinary faith - he dared to take 'brussel sprouts' and water to show that God was actually in charge of his physical wellbeing.
Daniel doesn't bow to peer pressure.
Due to his obedience, God grants him wisdom and intelligence no one in his era can ever own.

Based on those key facts listed above, I began to relate his situation in mine. Honestly speaking, being a Christian in circles where non-Christians are majorities, it does feel like you wanted to retreat to just being a 'low-profile' Christian (or maybe 'low self esteemed' Christian), where you try not to show that you are Christian. It always is tempting to 'go with the crowd, act like the crowd' just to make yourself accepted 'in the crowd'. But tonight I was reminded in a gracious manner that it is ok to be different, to be who God wants you to be. As Christians say it, to be a 'new creation in Christ'.

This may be a bit way off from what I said previously, but I can't help to amaze how, despite how disputable the credibility of our current Bible now, the content still speaks powerfully to believers. As I was listening the talks just now, I was amazed at myself that I can relate that to my present life. Which indicates to me that this is not just some history book, but a history book that is powerful enough to speak and get you contemplating, hard. Period.

Gratitudes on my birthday..

2006-05-10T00:16:00.001+08:00

Well, well..what do we have here? A lady who's age just shoots up a year older? Ok..ok, 26 is not really that old. It could be worse. I could have been 26...and a quarter, or 26...and a half. Or I could have more grey streaks of hairs than the year before. I might also have to blow 969 candles on my birthday cake and burn my beards in the process. Like I said again, it could be worse.

A decade ago I was trying to frown as much as possible to create wrinkles on forehead, but never worked. Today, all I need is a '1+1 = 2' question to create 5 horizontal wrinkle lines on the same area.

Nevertheless, I have enjoyed life. God willing, I will enjoy some more. Life has not always easy, but through obstacles of life, God forms me into the kind of person I am now. The kind of person who is growing in and by faith from year to year. Someone who can't get enough of the Word of God and seems to get enough of giving my best for God. I'm relishing every moments I breathe and be thankful of every blessings that I receive. There is so much to be thankful of. Take every time to cherish them.

Today, I am so blessed that even though I'm rather new in my company, the staffs collected money to buy me a birthday cake. And I thought I have no cakes this year. I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to pay for my birthday dinner and family gathering tonight. It's awesome! And that's just in a day's blessings.

What can you be thankful about on your birthday?

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

And for those who prefers to read it in Indonesian...

"Bersukacitalah senantiasa. Tetaplah berdoa. Mengucap syukurlah dalam segala hal, sebab itulah yang dikehendaki Allah di dalam Kristus Yesus bagi kamu." (1 Tesalonika 5:16-18)

Yonex Thomas & Uber Cup tournament

2006-05-05T14:36:00.002+08:00

Sports when I was small was a current issue for me. Karate-do, track and field, rounders, you name it all. Badminton is no exception. The first time I'd tamed myself with it I had to smash more winds than the shuttlecocks, and end up produce sweat which to my childhood imagination, can fill up the Meditteranean Sea in a matter of hours.

Although after unofficially retiring from sports due to ankle injury (which is not the badminton's fault), I kept my enthusiasm on sports by being a avid spectator (and a couch potato at the same time) and keeping track with the sports's world. Nevertheless, badminton hasn't made me go completely gaga compared to other sports.

Until a few hours ago.

I was fixing lunch when I stumbled upon a channel that showed the Thomas and Uber Cup game. Being utterly clueless, I stayed on to watch while feeding myself with a perfectly balanced meal, minus the vegetable and plus more oil. Anyway, it turned out that I was completely hooked at the few minutes of the game. Suddenly I had that adrenaline rush I use to have decades ago.

I missed those times.

I remembered that I was an avid badminton spectator during the Sidek's era. They completely captured the heart of Malaysians with their victories after victories. It was definitely a golden era for the Malaysian badminton players. Even the Indonesian rivals - Susi Susanti, Ardi Wiranata and Alan Budikusuma were pretty tough, making every tournaments more thrilling than the Episodes of Chucky.

To date, there hasn't been any era like that anymore. Most of the top players are from East Asia - China and Japan. But I guess from what I witnessed and experienced just now, it was never because of the player that I got interested with. It has always been because of the game.

LONG LIVE BADMINTON!!